Two Tools to Control Emotional Reactions


Photo on 9-5-16 at 6.37 PM.jpg“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” -John Wooden

We have heard many sayings talking about having a good reaction to circumstances that occur each day.  What we can control, what we cannot control, our mindset, our attitude, etc.

In order to have a positive reaction to difficult situations, we need to have tools to keep our triggers in check so we can have positive outcomes.

In the recent Urban Meyer book Above The Line, Tim Kight uses a formula called E+R=O.
Event + Response=Outcome.  The premise is that our response to an event will drive the odds of success or failure in one direction or the other.  Mr. Kight provides six ways to improve your ability to respond. These six ways are:

  1. Press Pause-take a breath, step back, and ask “what does this situation require of me?”
  2. Get Your Mind Right-train your mind to be tough and look for solutions
  3. Step Up-taking action after Pressing Pause and focusing your mindset
  4. Adjust & Adapt-evaluate your actions & mindset and change it to match the circumstances
  5. Make a Difference-your Response is an E for others, strive to have great responses that make a positive impact
  6. Build Your Skill-grow your talent and skill set by pushing yourself past your comfort level

While this is a great system to manage your responses, we need to quickly shift our frame of mind.  Pressing pause is a great way to do this, but what about about an event happening in the flow of your situation.

In his great book “Toughness:  Developing True Strength On and Off the Court” by Jay Bilas, Mr. Bilas talks about the concept of “Next Play” that was taught by Mike Krzyzewski.  It’s a quick “mindset reset” that clears out the recent event, great or not-so great, to allow you to focus on the next thing you need to do.

I suspect you have had a bad moment that occurred, and because you were dwelling on it, you missed the next opportunity to be successful.  Conversely, have you had a great moment that you kept thinking about, and then you made a mistake that you would normally not have made.

In leadership, what will make you successful is NOT how you handle events when they are going well.  What will you make you grow as a leader is getting better and better at handling negative events.  The problem-solvers are the go-to people that get opportunities to be successful.

I challenge you to learn these six steps and to say “Next Play” so you have great R’s.

Learn more about me on twitter, facebook, amazon author page, or my youtube channel. Thank you for taking the time to read.




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