#Lunchboxnotes 11.13.17 #MondayMotivation #MondayMorning #Dadlife

 

Today’s notes are inspired by the great book The Daily Nugget: Motivations for Basketball Coaches and Everyone Who Loves the Game

To order a copy of Ron’s #Lunchboxnotes 2016 ebook, click here.

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The Outstanding Ohioans show, Episode 56-Interview with Heather Shumaker, author of “It’s OK To Go Up The Slide”

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This show brings the audience great things Ohioans are doing to make their communities, the state, the region, and the world a better place as entrepreneurs, leaders, historical and popular culture figures.

For episode 56, I had the pleasure of speaking with Heather Shumaker, author of It’s OK to Go UP the Slide… Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids It’s OK NOT to Share… and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids

To connect with the Outstanding Ohioans show, here are a few ways:

The two books that Heather Shumaker has written provide great insights and ideas on how to raise children to be responsible, creative human beings with the ability to communicate.  Many of her thoughts counter the current culture of overprotective parents & practices within the school system.

Here were the topics we discussed in our conversation:

  • growing up in Columbus, Ohio
  • the background of her mother and father, who both recently retired as educators
  • attending the School for Young Children, founded in 1969 in Columbus
  • why she structured specific tools & ideas in her books that parents could use
  • her two central parenting themes
  • street smarts and stranger danger
  • sharing
  • calendars & clocks
  • homework
  • recess
  • reading
  • conflict resolution
  • reading for pleasure vs. forced reading
  • technology temptation
  • kid evaluation/resolution vs. adult intervention
  • fairness & justice
  • establishing boundaries

Listeners can connect with Heather in the following ways:

Thank you for taking the time to listen to the show.  Please leave a review on ITunes or Stitcher, or email me at ronsiliko@gmail.com.  Please refer any recommended future guests to my email.

If I Got Hit By A Bus-Video 12-Sadness and Joy

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Based on on work schedules, I am often in charge of dropping the boys off to their designated care giver (school, camp, sitter, etc.).  This is often a time of great sadness.

I NEVER am happy to say goodbye to the boys.  I get no greater joy than spending time with them.  I recognize the value of my other commitments, it is just hard to say goodbye to them.

It’s REALLY tough when Ryan and/or Sawyer cling on to me and are screaming “I want to stay with you daddy”.  I’m in complete agreement….I want to stay with them too.  We have such a blast exploring our world together.  We have our challenging moments, but most of the time we have an incredibly powerful connection to each other.

As tough as these goodbyes are, it is a 360 degree flip when I get to pick them up.  We are often so happy to see each other.  We run to meet each other and greet with hugs.  It is an incredibly powerful feeling of joy and validation.

What speaks to me the most is simply the thought of being present and engaged with them when we are together.  Working through distractions and trying to single focus is challenging.  There is also a balance between trying to actively do things together and then simply letting them go explore on their own.

Hug your kids, kiss your kids, and tell them you love them.  It is a blessing that they want to be around you.

Thank you for reading and have a great day!

Ron

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Outstanding Ohioans Podcast

 

How can I be so weak….dealing with the Ryan Revolution?

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Recently, Ryan has been going through what we can only hope is the “near-3” stage.  He has cried more in the last couple of months than in his entire life.  He has also become very independent, demanding and stubborn.

I recently read in the great Leigh Montville book Ted Williams:  The Biography of an American Hero a story about friend of Mr. Williams who collaborated to create a sports camp.  This friend’s favorite saying was that “the four most important words in American are I can“.

I love this saying….it inspires me.  When I first read it, I belly laughed because one of Ryan’s pet sayings right now is “I can do it myself”.  He is fiercely independent and wants to do everything himself right or wrong.  I have decided that unless he will physically harm himself, I am going to let him succeed or fail on his own.

One of the funniest (and frustrating) part of this independence is that he will actually re-do or re-create a situation himself so he can say he did it.  One example, we went to the bathroom for another round of potty training (doing very well, thank you…).  He insisted on ripping off his diaper, and when I moved the stool in front of the toilet, he flipped!  He said, “I can do it myself”, proceeded to grab the stool, move it back to its original location, and then put it in exactly the same spot I had.  He did it himself.

The point of this post….is that I get extremely frustrated with myself upon instant or later reflection.  There are times I am so weak…..so soft about my temper flipping on and getting mad at him.  When he doesn’t want to listen or do what I say, when he insists on doing something I KNOW is wrong, it triggers me.  I KNOW I need to take a deep breath and relax, and I KNOW I should be doing this when I am grabbing him or talking strongly to him.  I KNOW I need patience and calm.  I need to be able to explain, and explain, and explain, and explain while staying calm so he can learn.

To improve my reactions, I am listening daily to some of favorite books, Toughness by Jay Bilas (referenced in this previous post), and InsideOut Coaching by Joe Ehrmann.  I want Ryan to learn how to remain calm so he is able to think about a proper solution, I need to model this behavior better when facing adversity.  This is my biggest parenting challenge to date.

I would love to hear from parents what is in your toolkit to help you stay calm.

-Ron